If I am going to help others with their own demons and battles, I think that it is only right that I face my own. What I am going to do is reveal to you how I became so messed up from the very start but, I see this as the
start of my own recovery and healing process – something I wasn’t ready to do until now.
It is not often that an ex Barnardo Boy will want to reveal his past – so much hurt, so much pain.
I have chosen to do so, with access to extracts from my early Dr Barnardos records – it is not nice.to read that you were never really wanted, and not surprising, because of that, I have developed serious mental issues.
Robert John Gale Born 11.12.56 at Nottingham Admitted ( to Barnardos) 20.6.58
Applicant Mrs M.M Hellier Group Almoner, City Hospital, Hucknall Road Nottingham.
Half Caste Child
” The Mother left home at 20 and went into lodgings for see said that her Grandparents were too strict with her. While employed at the Bus Station canteen, she became acquainted with the putative Father, who was employed by the Corporation. After she became pregnant, he gave her £3.00pw until her confinement took place . Subsequently the Mother returned to work as a bus conductress, and the payments from the putative Father ceased. She earned £6.00 pw and did not take affiliation proceedings.”
“While in her last employment, she became acquainted with James Wainwright, and in a pregnant condition by him they agreed to marry, but her fiancé would not accept Robert because of his colour. But before they could be married, the Mother was rushed to Hospital, where she gave birth to a still – born child….Robert, meanwhile was in the care of the Children’s Department”
“The Grandparents are caretakers of the house in which they live. The Grandmother regretted that there was little good she could say of the Mother. In her opinion, the Mother had mixed with people of bad repute, and had gone out drinking. The Grandmother likes Robert, and helped in buying clothes for him, but she could not accept the child. She had a poor opinion of the Mothers fiancé. We (Barnardos) agreed to take Robert for a payment of 15s pw.”
“Later – The Mother moved very suddenly from her address, and her landlady – Mrs Battersby – did not know her address. In July 1958, however, the Mother applied for the restorationof Robert. She was married to Wainwright at Nottingham Registry Office 9.8.1958, and they lived in two furnished rooms. The Mother is still receiving £1.14.0 pw in sickness benefit, and is in a pregnant condition by her husband. The Mother stated in her husbands presence that the still – born child to whom she had given birth…( statement edited out )”
“She had not wanted Mr & Mrs Battersby to know of her whereabouts, they knew the truth about the still – born child. The Mother stated that it was the Battersbys who had urged her to have Robert restored. They wanted her to continue to live at their address. The Mother is now living happily with her husband, and the later does not want Robert restored”
Source – Original Barnardo Records Documentation – now held by me.
Undated – Barnardos internal Memo
Gale Robert – Coloured Child
See pre – admission papers and previous Placement Minute
Putative Father is Jamaican. Mother is now married, and seems happy and settled. She feels it wiser to keep Robert out of the picture for the moment, has no objection to boarding out. She lives in Nottingham. It was pointed out to the Committee that it very difficult to find foster homes for coloured children, but it was generally agreed that an effort should be made to do so. Recommendation – B.O. Northern and Eastern Area ( if not successful refer to Committee in six months time)
Bardardos Report from the Leighton – Robert Gale 3 years 7 months of age
Date of last visit 20.6.60
Special interests – Playing with little friend, pet puppies and with toys
Personality – A child with an attractive and charming personality. He has a determined nature, but is very affectionate and loveable.
Robert seems very happy in this home, he is very attached to his foster sister and brother. The Foster parents said that though Robert had been quite a handful, they were now beginning to understand him and he now caused them very little trouble, they regarded him as one of their own.
Robert thinks the world of his Grandmother, who is teaching him to read. The fact that he also has Grandparents seems to intrigue him somewhat.
25/9/60 Barnardos report from the Leighton Foster Family
F.M said they were now having no wet beds from Robert, but there were times when he is rather messy in his eating habits at the table. He is destructive with his toys but his temper tantrums are now becoming less frequent.plays with his little friend from next door, both are about the same age. F.M said she intends to put Roberts name down at the school, so that he is able to go with his friend, probably next year. He is rough with his clothing and is very heavy on shoes and FM said Robert delights in finding all the dirt that is available. Robert is an open natured child, he is very affectionate, and though he is very big for his age, he still delights in being nursed by his Foster Parents
5/11/60 Barnardos report from the Leighton Foster Family
FPs said they have had a difficult week with Robert. He has had tantrums and screaming attacks, but by Friday they had managed to find out the cause. Robert told them that a boy at Sunday School had told him that he was not his brother and that the Leightons were not his parents. The FPs talked to Robert about this, and told him if anyone else said such things then he must come and tell them about it. When they had wanted another little boy, they had found him (Robert) and they all loved him very much. Since this time Robert has been asking where he was born, and Mr Leighton said that he understood that this had been in Nottingham. Subject to conformation that Robert was born in Nottingham, the FPs say they will take Robert along to Nottingham and let him look around the city centre. Robert appears to be very well, he is growing quickly and eats and sleeps well. He is an affectionate child and is demanding of affection in return. His friend Graham, who lives next door and of the same age, is very neat and tidy, but Robert by comparison has a much sharper mental approach to problems but tends to be rather more untidy.
15/1/61 Barnardos report from the Leighton Foster Family
The FPs said that Robert has started being abnormally dirty, in his clothing and appearance, after being out at play. I suggested this was quite a normal occurrence with little boys of this age. Robert is dry by day and night, his temper tantrums are becoming less frequent and he seems to be taking an interest in games which require a certain amount of skill. The FPs remarked how healthy Robert has been, he has had few colds and though there has been a lot of childhood ailments in the area. Robert has not been prone to contract any of them. I feel that this FM is Menopausal and tends to make a great deal out of Roberts small misdemeanours. She appears to need the constant reassurance of a visitor, to tell her that they are making a good job of Roberts upbringing.
25/2/61 Barnardos report (part – full report to hand) from Leighton Foster family
Mrs Leighton full of complaints about Robert….. Not one member of this household had a good word for Robert and all complained about his behaviour. Mrs Leighton said that Mrs Wilkinson, her next door neighbour ,complained that Robert had also behaved very badly when in her house. Mrs Leighton suggested that Mrs Wilkinson would confirm her views on Robert, if I cared to visit. I next visited Mrs Wilkinson, who is Roberts God – Mother. This lady has a son of Roberts age, and is a Nursery Teacher at a local school. Mrs Wilkinson said that she felt that Robert was in the wrong home and she was worried about him. She felt that Robert had reacted to Mr Leighton, who of late, had returned home from work and had shouted at the family, not necessarily just Robert. Mrs Wilkinson said that Robert was erratic in his play and felt that he was insecure. She felt that Robert was not now as happy as when he first came to the Leightons and had changed considerably during the last few weeks. Mrs Wilkinson said that she felt that the Leightons did not offer a lot of affection to their children and she did not really understand Mr Leighton. At times Mr Leighton seemed to have a heart of gold and at others he seemed very harsh with his family. Mrs Wilkinson felt that the Leightons made a distinction between Robert and their own children and Robert was not allowed to touch Gordons toys. This family have now sold their present house and are to move to a smaller house, elsewhere in Sheffield…The latter has caused them so much expense, in repair, that they would go bankrupt unless they made a move.
When I took Robert out by himself, he seemed to be rather tense, and could not sit still. He is a nail biter and looked thinner in his face. He shows no other signs of disturbance, but I feel very concerned about this child.
It is realised that Robert was an aggressive child before being boarded out, but I do now wonder if this disturbance is due to rejection by this family and if it would be better if he was removed from this home. I feel that probably the Leightons will in any case wish for him to be removed, but wish to save face by having the child removed by other suggestion than their own. I would appreciate your advice in this matter…..Miss D.M Dyson
CEO Executive Officer – Northern and Eastern Division.
7th March 1961 Barnardos Report ( partial) from the Leighton Foster Family
….Mr Leighton stayed late in returning to his work in order to talk about Robert. I thought him to be rather ponderous and self important but, in his own way, concerned for the child. He talked for a long time telling me of Roberts behaviour….he found it difficult to understand why, when he told Robert not to do something, Robert would immediately go and do it a few minutes later. He said that he spanked the boy for deliberate disobedience as he believed in obedience in the home, but he did admit that Roberts behaviour did not improve as the result of the spankings.
He is a big heavy man, and I can imagine that he could become loud voiced when his temper was up. Mrs Leighton looked old for her age and I noticed a twitch in her cheek…..Both FPs told me of Roberts violent tempers and tantrums, he would fling himself to the ground and scream, and the difference between his behaviour and that of their own quite well disciplined children. From the FMs account of them, I rather wonder whether they are cowed?…..After Mr Leighton went back to work Foster Mother relaxed considerably. One of the bitches came in and I was surprised to see the gentleness and affection she showed the little dog. She admitted that they had been under a great deal of strain over the last few months her old father had died her mother who lived with them was an old lady with the difficulties that that entails her three dogs and a litter of puppies were all ill just before Christmas and there had been the disturbance of buying a new house. Robert came in from next door to see us, he looks an adorable little boy full of gaiety and affectionate to Foster Mother who returned the cuddles….I do think Foster Parents are rather elderly and “set in their ways” for such a lively child like Robert. He has obviously began to put down roots in the foster home, and I feel that it would be very damaging for him to have another move at this point. Mrs Roberts has always found that both foster parents need a great deal of reassurance over fostering and I think they would be really be encouraged by a visit from Miss Jojnson if she is able to go.
18th March 1961 Barnardos Report (partial) from the Leighton Foster Family
I visited the foster home on 15th March and was told by the FM that Robert had started occasionally to soil his pants. Mrs Leighton then said that her daughter, Rowena, who in the past had given Robert a great deal of love, was now getting a little sick of him…..When I asked about Roberts behaviour, both FPs said that he had been no trouble for the past few days, but had been demanding of affection. I stressed to the FPs that this was what Robert needed, if they were able to him the affection which he required, he would not show any insecure behaviour or be so difficult. Mr Leighton then said that Robert always appeared to be better behaved after I visited, prior to each of my visits they felt they were coming to the end of their tether. I feel that these FPs always need the constant reassurance of their visitor and it is realised that Robert is a very active child for this seemly staid couple…..It would therefore appear that in spite of this family’s complaints about Robert, they are including him in their future plans. Possibly when Robert starts school it would ease the burden of the FM during the day and they would not find him such a strain.
Miss D. M Dyson C.E.O Northern & Eastern Division
25th July Barnardos Report (partial) from the Leighton Foster Family
Mrs Leighton telephoned on Monday 17th July asking that I should call at her home in order to discuss Roberts future with herself and Mr Leighton. Mr Leighton complained that Robert had become dirty in his toilet habits, he persistently did not use toilet paper and consequently soiled his underclothes and was subject to temper tantrums…. Mr Leighton said both he and his wife were thoroughly fed up with Robert and felt they would like the child removed…Mr Leighton said that he had had a change of heart about Robert, I am not prepared to go any further with him. Roberts dirty habits are intolerable. I do not feel that I can ask my wife or family to cope any longer with Robert. Robert does not respond what so ever, it is a series of irritating behaviour. No sooner does one pattern cease then Robert thinks of another way of causing upheaval in the family. When corrected Robert is defiant and bellows and this annoys me intensely.
Mrs Leighton, who was present during her husbands tirade, said that she fully agreed with her husband. In addition Robert always wants to be the centre of attention, when he is taken to their own friends Robert tries to gain attention by sitting on their friends knees…….
I feel that this child has always been a “foster child” in this home and not part of the family. Mrs Leighton has constantly needed the support of myself and now at last I feel that she is rejecting Robert
Miss D.M Dyson
C.E.O
Northern & Eastern Area
19th September 1961
Dear Mr Padbury,
Robert Gale
I have just had a letter from Roberts Mother, in which she says that she is very worried about him, and wants to come and see him.
As you know from the character form which I have sent you, Robert has had no real contact with his Mother since he came into care, and the idea of her visiting is really quite a surprise. How do you think that he will react to this at this stage?. Do you think that we ought to wait a little longer before Mrs Wainwright visits, or is this the contact with his Mother just what Robert needs? I am inclined to suspect the latter, but I am rather afraid that Mrs Wainwright may not visit him, even if we make all the arrangements for her. Perhaps you will let me know about this as soon as possible
Yours Sincerely
For D.M Dyson C.E.O
Northern and Eastern Area
Mr P.J. Padbury
Glenfield Frith Hall
Glenfield Frith Drive Leicester
28th October 1961 Barnardos letter to C.E.O Miss D.M Dyson Northern & Eastern Division
Re Robert John Gale at Glenfield Frith Home
Dear Miss Dyson,
Mrs Wilkinson of 7 Priory Road Sheffield, telephoned to say that she had heard from Mr Padley, that Robert had settled at Leicester, and now she felt that as Roberts God Mother she would like to do more for the child. Mrs Wilkinson said that she would like Roberts sizes in order that she could knit for him and offered to have Robert for holidays. I suggested that I would pass this information on to HQ, who would possibly contact herself direct.
Miss Slack who is Mrs Leightons daily help telephoned to say that she that she has not heard anything from us and wondered if we could supply her with Roberts address, in order that she might send gifts to Robert. Miss Slack was very attached to Robert when he was with the Leightons and supplied most of the affection which he required.
Mrs Leighton, Roberts ex Foster Mother, telephoned to say that she would like Roberts address in order that she might send him a gift at Christmas. I suggested that she should contact HQ on this matter since possible future plans might be made for Robert and it would not be wise for him to maintain too close a contact.
Miss D.M Dyson
C.E.O
Northern & Eastern Division.
Foot note
This is just a partial official record of my experiences with one family – there is so much more, and that will be added to my pages and blogs over the course of the next few weeks and months
. But, from such a tender age, exposed to sexual exploitation ( this is something that I still have nightmares about, and I am not ready to open up on this, yet), physical and verbal abuse, rejection and abandonment, is there any wonder that I have had so many mental health issues?
Fast forward, to the horrific events in December of 2009, when I was wrongly implicated in a violent drugs raid, arrested, taken to a Custody Suite, verbally and psychically abused. Humiliated, neglected, and painted as someone that I was not – do you see the connection yet?
The two Psychiatrists that were commissioned to carry out a Medical Expert examination on me, failed miserably in their efforts. Doctors Ian Medley and Neil Holden, the supposed leading experts in their field, the modern day Burke and Hare.
The reports they wrote were mainly untrue, in fact, the report from Medley was venomous.Did either of them refer to any of my Barnardos Records, ? Definitely not.
Both chose to take the gold just as Judas had done – AND if you cant trust a Psychiatrist who can you trust?
So now, I sit in a corner, like a spider in its web, watching, waiting for that fly to land – then I must strike.